Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘Godly Character’

 

“You are not going to believe what Natalie did,” Gabby-Gossip starts.  And with much detail she begins to describe the foolish, spiteful actions of a mutual acquaintance.

And even though she’s only spoken two sentences, I know Gabby’s tirade is going to be gossip.  Not only don’t I need this information, but participation with her will be downright harmful.  The problem is, how do I tactfully stop Gabby-Gossip?

These strategies may be just what I need; perhaps you’ll find them helpful, too:

1.  Say nothing at all.  Refuse to participate. 

Just like Thumper said in the Disney movie, Bambi, “If you can’t say somethin’ nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.”

Even scripture backs up the value of silence:  “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret” (Proverbs 11:13).

2.  Ask, “Why are you telling me this?”

Be aware of the tone of your voice as you ask.  Speak with innocence, as if you assume Gabby is sharing for a legitimate reason.  Chances are, such a question will catch her off guard.  She often has no agenda beyond passing on a juicy bit of unflattering news.

Sometimes Gabby-Gossip prefaces her sharing with the directive, “I’m telling you this so you’ll be able to pray for Natalie.”

Perhaps I can stop the flow of details by suggesting, “I’m so glad God knows all the ins and outs of this situation.  He also knows Natalie’s heart, and I don’t.  I will most definitely be praying.”  Then change the subject.

3.  Insert positive talk.

Perhaps we can share something Natalie did recently that was commendable, or highlight one of her character traits we admire.

We could begin by saying, “You know what I appreciate about Natalie?”  Follow up with an example.  Perhaps Gabby will realize her talk has gone off-track and will follow our lead.

Solomon noted, “The lips of the righteous nourish many” (Proverbs 10:21).  What a fulfilling purpose to keep in mind for our conversations:  to feed nourishing words of wisdom and encouragement into the lives of others.

When we choose to speak positively, it demonstrates respect for others, respect for the One who created them, and respect for ourselves.  Kind words also bring positive energy and uplift to a conversation.  By contrast, negative talk drains our energy and we feel depressed, discouraged, or even angered as we part company.

4.  Seek to help Gabby-Gossip.

If the negative talk centers on a problem between Gabby and Natalie, discuss some possibilities to solve the conflict.  Turn the conversation from fault-finding to solution-brainstorming.

5.  Pray, even as you speak.

Without the wisdom and power of the Holy Spirit, we will fail to solve the problem or win over Gabby-Gossip to positivity.  Send up a silent sky-text as the conversation begins.  Ask God to direct your thoughts and give you the words to say that will minister to Gabby.

6.  Resist the urge to gossip to someone else. 

With David we need to pray, “Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips” (Psalm 141:3).

Few of us run the risk of saying too little; it is the opposite that causes trouble!  Three little words can guide us, as we think before we speak:  Is our next comment true, kind, and necessary?

*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

Heavenly Father, I do not want to participate in gossip.  Instead I want to be a positive influence, even a force of change.  With David, I ask you to set a guard over my mouth.  Be my attentive Watchman, God.  Even now, in preparation for the next encounter with Gabby-Gossip, I pray for your wisdom and courage to react rightly.  Because the bottom line is:  I want the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart to be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer (Psalm 19:14).

(photo credit:  www.gazettedebonton.)

Read Full Post »

Back in the 1970s I saw Helen Hayes in a made-for-TV movie.  Some of you may recognize her.  She was known as the “First Lady of the American Theater,” beginning her career on Broadway in 1905, when she was only five years old.  In the 1930s, Helen expanded her stardom to films, and finally to television.

The reason she comes to mind now and then is the impression she made upon me, as an energetic, sparkly eyed senior citizen.  I remember thinking, “When I get old, I want to be like that!”

Poof.  Four decades have passed, and I am indeed getting old!  I don’t feel like it, but that doesn’t stop the incessant turning of the calendar pages.

So I was delighted to come across these verses from Psalm 92 that cast aging in a positive light:

“The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon; planted in the house of the Lord, they will flourish in the courts of our God.  They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green, proclaiming, “The Lord is upright; He is my Rock, and there is no wickedness in Him” (vs. 12-15).

Palm trees do indeed flourish, living up to 100 years.  Withstanding heat, drought, and high winds, these trees stand tall and strong; their leaves fresh and green all year long.

 

What a perfect picture of an energetic, sparkly eyed senior citizen! 

How do we achieve such age-defying qualities? 

First, notice that the righteous will flourish.  When our faith is grounded in God, when we follow his principles for a prosperous life, we flourish.

Like the palm tree that grows straight up toward heaven, the righteous reach for the God of heaven.  That’s how they’re able to stand strong through the winds of change and difficult circumstances.

The psalmist then continues:  “The righteous will…grow like a cedar of Lebanon.”

Majestic cedar trees grow to 120 feet in height and up to 30 feet in circumference.  They provide the perfect picture of a firm, stable person.  Just as the cedar’s roots go deep into the soil, so the righteous person is rooted and grounded in God’s love (Ephesians 3:17).  From those roots comes the nourishment needed to remain strong and spiritually healthy.

Second, notice where these trees are planted:  in the house of the Lord.  They flourish in the courts of our God.

Charles Spurgeon, that eloquent preacher and writer of the 1800s, had this to say about those who dwell in habitual fellowship with God:  “They shall become men [and women] of full growth, rich in grace, happy in experience, mighty in influence, honored and honorable.”  Now that sounds like a very satisfying way to live—so much better than the opposite!

Think of a complaining oldster whose mouth turns down from constant disgruntlement.  His bottom lip protrudes from perpetual pouting, and his brow is permanently lowered into a frown because anger often rules his emotions.  All this negativity has stunted the growth of his maturity.  He’s unhappy much of the time, and is not held in high regard by others.  Do you suppose he ever considers that his way of life is terribly unsatisfying?   

However!  When our lives are centered upon worship of God, as we express gratitude for his blessings, praise for his attributes, contentment for where he’s placed us, and joy in the midst of trials, we become those admirable men and women Dr. Spurgeon described above:  mature, gracious, and happy.

Dr. Spurgeon also added “mighty in influence and honored.  God rewards the righteous aged with “fruit.”  In other words, we may still bring glory to God by our words and actions—well into old age.

We can be:

  • Energetic—with the power of the Holy Spirit
  • sparkly-eyed—with the indwelling of God’s peace
  • grace-filled—with continual demonstrations of God’s love to others
  • joyful—with hearts focused on God’s blessings

These kinds of saints provide a powerful example of God’s faithfulness—through pleasant times and challenges, through plenty and want, year after year.

May we continue to grow deep and stand tall—all the days of our lives.

(photo credits:  www.pachd.com, www.captainkimo.com, www.forestertreeservice.com, www.centrifueleadership.com, www.seniors.ovetoknow.com)

Read Full Post »

Hardship

Hardship (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

On Monday our starting point was Acts 14:22: “We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God.” Not exactly an encouraging affirmation, is it!

But we discovered that problems can actually be opportunities—opportunities to improve our perspective, foster appreciation, and draw us closer to God.

Another benefit? Problems build character.

And why is that a valuable endeavor? Wise King Solomon answered that question eons ago: “I know, my God, that you test the heart and are pleased with integrity” (1 Chronicles 29:17).  That means,  when I face problems with integrity, I bring pleasure to my Heavenly Father.  Now that’s a goal worth pursuing.

integrity

integrity (Photo credit: glsims99)

Integrity is firm adherence to a code or standard of values. The one and only true standard is God’s standard, laid out in his Word.  Integrity includes righteousness, courage, perseverance, and faith–character traits that don’t develop without pressure.

The key is to live within the spiritual realm with him. Then the physical realm becomes less important. It’s as if we exist in an alternative reality. No wallowing in self-pity. No rehashing the negative aspects of the situation. No time wasted considering the “what-ifs.”

Instead we “count it all joy when we meet various trials” (James 1:2). How?

1. Practice his presence by speaking to him throughout the day.   Keep rehearsing God’s attributes. Remember all his benefits. Think of the blessings he has already provided.

2. Acknowledge those little demons of worry, shame, or inadequacy. Call them by name and present them before God. Notice how they cower as God proclaims his everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3). Watch them retreat as he affirms his infinite power (Jeremiah 32:27).

3. Anticipate what God might accomplish through these difficult circumstances. Wonderful possibilities exist as he sends us in new directions and uses us to minister to others.

No doubt there are more steps we can take. But these offer a good start. And what will be the result? Difficulties develop perseverance, and perseverance produces maturity—the one positive character trait that covers them all (James 1:2).

Heavenly Father, you know even better than I how easy it is to verbally affirm these truths; it’s another to live by them moment by moment. I still have much to learn about counting it all joy in the midst of trials. But I do aspire to be a mature person, able to say, “It is well with my soul.”   No.   Matter.   What.   Thank you for continuing to work on me, for never giving up.

IT IS WELL

IT IS WELL (Photo credit: Amydeanne)

Read Full Post »

St John Chrysostom, St Patrick's cathedral, Ne...

St John Chrysostom, St Patrick’s cathedral, New York City (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A few months ago, if you had asked me about John Chrysostom, a Christian of ancient times, you’d have been answered with, “John who?” Since then, I’ve come across him several times in my reading. Now I know him as a worthy entrant into the Christianity Hall of Fame.

John was born around 350 A.D. As a youth, he aspired to become a monk. The monastic movement had begun in the late 200s by those who believed the world was an inherently sinful place, and the best thing to do was to live separately.

But John’s mother urged him to wait. She had been widowed as a young mother, only twenty years old, and devoted all her time and effort to her son and his education.

“You do not know how hard it was for me to take care of you,” she told him. “I don’t want you to be unhappy, but I do want for you to stay with me until I die.”

John stayed. But when she passed on to heaven, John did become a monk. From 374 to 380 A.D. he lived in a cave on a mountain near Antioch (Turkey).

Over time, John came to realize that a more meaningful life might be spent helping others, rather than living separate from them. (No doubt the Holy Spirit was guiding him!) He returned to the city of Antioch and became ordained as a priest.

John became well-known as an eloquent speaker, although he did not use lofty language. He kept his focus on explaining the scriptures plainly. Today, Bible scholars and church history students can study 640 of his sermons, of which we still have record. Here is one worthy example of John’s God-given wisdom:

“Take time regularly to read the Bible. Don’t let anyone make excuses like, ‘I’ve got this duty to fulfill,’ ‘I’m a skilled worker, I must get on with my job,’ or ‘I must provide for my family. I’ll leave that to professional Christians like monks and priests and theology students.’

“What on earth are you saying? It’s not your business to read the Bible because you’ve got too many other things to bother about? But that’s the very reason why you need to read the Bible! The more worries you have, the more you need the Bible to keep you going!

“People like monks and nuns who have left the troubles of the world behind are quite safe; they are like ships sailing on a calm sea, or moored in a quiet harbor. But you are in the middle of this godless world’s stormy sea, and so you need spiritual help and sustenance far more urgently.”

John accompanied his preaching with love and care for his congregation. He was known as a courteous, affectionate, and kindly priest. Perhaps that explains how he was able to be very pointed in his remarks. For example, John told his people:

“Money is like water. It goes bad if it does not run. Don’t think you have done enough because you beat down your body with fasting. I don’t object to your fasting, but helping others is more important.”

Restored section of the Walls of Constantinople

Restored section of the Walls of Constantinople (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

John’s fame grew all over the Roman Empire. When a bishop was required for the capital city of Constantinople, the emperor’s prime minister wanted to put John, the most famous orator, into that position. But he knew Antioch would never give up their beloved priest, and John would not want to leave his beloved Antioch. So the prime minister had soldiers kidnap John, and take him to Constantinople! There he was installed as bishop.

Perhaps John considered sneaking out of the city, but the historical record indicates he accepted the turn of events as the intervention of God.

John maintained his pure, simple lifestyle, giving away much of his salary to the poor. He also continued his frank style of preaching. That was not well received. The rich grew angry, the hierarchy of the church grew indignant, and a jealous bishop in Alexandria became bitter because he coveted that prestigious post at Constantinople. All of these people conspired against him, and as the result of false charges of heresy, John was banished from the city. He died in exile.

Sometime after his death, John was given the title Chrysostom, which means “golden-mouthed.”

Surely no one could refute that John Chrysostom was a moral man, who was dedicated to pious simplicity, unvarnished truth, and loving-kindness to others. Yet he was one selected for persecution, while unlawful greed and selfishness ruled in high places as well as low. Those against John surely wished to shame the caring priest. But for how many centuries has the shame actually been on them?

Now, 1600 years later, the world is still inhabited by greedy, selfish, shameful people. But there are few who follow John Chrysostom’s example. I want to be among the latter.

Heavenly Father, I thank you for men like John who resolutely lived out their beliefs, and whose greatest desire was to please you. May I remain strong in faith and practice. Help me to listen attentively to your Spirit and be obedient. I want to serve you with integrity, determination, and focus, just like John Chrysostom.

Cover of "Christianity Through the Centur...

Cover of Christianity Through the Centuries

Resources:

Christianity through the Centuries by Earle E. Cairns, 1970.
The Church of Our Fathers by Roland H. Bainton, 1969.
Eerdmans’ Book of Christian Classics compiled by Veronica Zundel, 1985.

Read Full Post »

Just a Tourist

“You’re going to New York City? Fantastic! Have you ever been there?”

Tiffany, hairdresser and New York native, energetically snipped at my hair, as she bubbled with enthusiasm over the news. Another teacher from my school and I were going to the Big Apple to attend a workshop.

“This will be my first visit,” I told her. “To tell you the truth, I’m a bit nervous.”

“Well, Honey, just try not to look like a tourist and you’ll be fine.”

My eyes must have given away my cluelessness.

Tiffany took me under her wings of experience. “OK, number one. Don’t take your map out in public. That’s a dead giveaway. And number two: Don’t look up at the buildings and study the architecture. Nobody does that in New York.”

 

Tiffany and Company Building in New York City

 

She shared more with me that day, but those are the only two rules I remember.

A few weeks later, D. and I were on our way.

We arrived the day before the workshop began, enabling us to do some sightseeing that afternoon. Tiffany would have been so proud as we studied our maps in the privacy of our room, determining our itinerary.

All went according to plan. D. and I disembarked at the precise station we had chosen, trotted up the stairs, and headed for the corner, to cross the street. There we stood, waiting for the light to turn green.

 

New York City

 

Tiffany’s words echoed in my head. “Don’t look up at the buildings and study the architecture.” I kept my eyes on the street light.

A gentleman came up beside us. I did not smile; didn’t even look at him. The light held my attention.

“Ya not from New Yawk, ah ya?” he suddenly asked.

WHAT?! How could he tell? Not even a corner of a map was peeking from either of our purses. Had D. forgotten Rule #2 and looked up at the buildings?

His answer indicated Tiffany had forgotten to mention one important rule.

“Nobody pays attention to the lights,” he said. “Ya just cross when the traffic cleahs.”

With a quick smile, he was gone, even though the light was still red.

That experience planted a question in my mind: Can people tell from my behavior that I’m a Christian, as quickly as that gentleman could tell D. and I were not New Yorkers?

What kind of behaviors would identify me as a believer in Jesus?

Friendliness.

Caring.

Active listening.

Understanding.

Appreciation.

Patience.

Kindness.

Generosity.

Self-Control.

Love.

How quickly might a stranger pick up on the fact that my true home is with the Lord (2 Corinthians 5:8)? I’m just a tourist here.

Oh, Heavenly Father, may I be mindful that everywhere I go people may be watching. I do NOT want to spoil their opinion of you because of what I say or do. Rather, may my words and actions quickly identify who I am: a daughter of the King, a resident of your kingdom. May my choices draw others to you.

 

(Photo credits:  Wikipedia.org and kaysha)

 

Read Full Post »

“I know, my God, that you test the heart and are pleased with integrity…I have seen with joy how willingly your people who are here have given to you. O Lord, God of our father Abraham, Isaac and Israel, keep this desire in the hearts of your people forever” (from King David’s last recorded prayer, 1 Chronicles 29:17-18).

The Israelites often spoke of or prayed to the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Why would they address God as if he belonged to someone from the past? Perhaps their focus on the patriarchs brought to mind all the ways God had protected, guided, blessed and cared for their forefathers. Just the mention of their names conjured up stronger faith for what God could do in the here and now.

I, too, come from a heritage of faith, my grandparents. I believe in the God of Rachel, Henry, and Clara.

Grandma Rachel married in 1910, at age 20, to her sweetheart, Edward, from a neighboring farm. They moved into town—Aurora, Illinois,  thus ending her two-year teaching career in a one-room schoolhouse.

WPV One room schoolhouse

Several years later, Elizabeth was born, and then twin boys came along, Algen and Louis. But during the influenza epidemic of 1917, Algen contracted the illness and died.  He was only two years old.   I can only imagine the inconsolable heartache for Rachel and Edward, as well as the children.

My dad was born in 1924, so he was much younger than his two siblings. For the next six years life must have settled into a quiet rhythm, but then the effects of the Great Depression became painfully real. Grandpa lost his job as an insurance salesman.

The dread of not being able to support his family became too much for him.  Grandpa Edward committed suicide in 1930. Again, the family faced the inconceivable. And now their future lay on Grandma Rachel’s shoulders.

How could she possibly support her children, at a time when jobs were so scarce? Who was going to hire a mother when so many men were looking for work? But the God of Rachel provided a way.

Baking day - bread and cherry pie.

You see, Grandma was an extraordinary baker. Her hands could turn out the flakiest pie crusts, the most tender bread, and the gooiest pecan rolls—all without measuring. A handful of this and a pinch of that turned out perfection.  (Hers looked much better than the fare in this photo!)

 Grandma was able to establish a clientele of families and businesses to buy her baked goods. That meant she was working much of the night, and then grabbing what sleep she could while the children were in school.

The God of Rachel gave her strength to accomplish the impossible. Her family survived the depression without government assistance, and they were able to keep their house.

Sometime later, Grandma remarried, but Grandpa Will also passed away much too soon. She remained a widow for the last twenty years of her life.

Not many, I would dare say, have been subject to so many difficulties in one lifetime. But Grandma Rachel would be the first to tell you God remained faithful–guiding, upholding and providing for her.

The Grandma I knew was calm, gentle, and patient. Very little ruffled her feathers. She prayed—on her knees, read the Bible consistently, and memorized dozens, if not hundreds, of verses. Kindness, industriousness, and goodness would also be good descriptors for her.

Toast & Jam

I can still remember the many ways she demonstrated her loving kindness to me. What a treat it was to spend the night at her house! I’d wake up in the morning to the aroma of Ralston Purina (a hot cereal). She would serve it with orange pinwheels, toast, and her homemade raspberry jam–yum!  (The prunes I could have done without, but Grandma was only looking after my best interest!)

We’d spend much of the day reading books, putting puzzles together, making crafts, and playing games. Sometimes we’d investigate the treasures in the corner cabinet of her living room—the old books, Uncle Louis’s wind-up donkey cart from his childhood, the large Conch shell in which we could hear the ocean. (To a Midwestern girl, that was quite a phenomenon!)

Grandma Rachel gave me my first Bible for my eighth birthday, and encouraged me to memorize Bible verses, too. But her greatest influence came through her example of gentleness, endurance, and quiet strength.

Thank you, God of Rachel, for allowing me the privilege of knowing Grandma for twenty-two years and for the many precious memories of happy, peaceful times.

But thank you most of all for the legacy of faith she passed down and encouraged in others, including me. You were of supreme importance to her, and never far from the surface of her thinking. May I follow her example when difficulties arise. You, the God of Rachel, will bring me through, just as you did for her.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Please come back on Thursday for the story of the grandparents on my mother’s side. God did some amazing things for Henry and Clara, too!

P.S. to the cousins: If I don’t have all my facts straight on Grandma’s story, please let me know. It’s important for posterity to be accurate! You can email me at nancyaruegg@gmail.com .

Read Full Post »

« Newer Posts

Still Traveling

Impressions Becoming Expressions

Living Our Days

Gaining a heart of wisdom

He Said What?!

I'm Patty, and my husband and I are living with our adult son who has autism and epilepsy. I love sharing lessons learned from life around me, especially life with Aaron.

Meditations of my Heart

Impressions Becoming Expressions

Linda Stoll

Impressions Becoming Expressions

Debby Thompson

Impressions Becoming Expressions

Signora Sheila

Notes on Life, Faith & Italy

Colleen Scheid

Writing, Acting, Living in God's Love

Mitch Teemley

The Power of Story

Heidi Viars

Finding the Image of God