Years ago when our middle granddaughter was a preschooler, we took her to an arcade. In the back corner stood a few free games and among them, two old Tetris side by side.
Some of you will remember this game. Shapes drift down from the screen-top; the player must manipulate them, fitting them together in a solid wall as they reach the bottom—without leaving holes.
After a quick explanation of how to play, E. happily started pushing buttons. I decided to play the neighboring game. Bad mistake.
Video games never were my forte, and the passing years had not contributed to my skills. Frustration began to build as hole after hole appeared in my wall.
At game’s end, E. cried with joyful triumph, “Look Nana! Look at the pretty design I made!”
Though her screen displayed many colorful shapes, there were numerous holes. But that didn’t matter to E. In her view she’d created an eye-catching piece of art.
E. taught me a lesson that day. My attitude could often be improved if I just focused on the positive of what IS and not on the negative of what ISN’T.
All too frequently I’ve strived for unattainable goals, wasted time on unimportant details, or sacrificed rest while slaving through a lengthy to-do-list. I’ve also cared too much what other people thought.
All of these traits are symptoms of perfectionism.
Why are we perfectionists so strict on ourselves? Perhaps it’s because we don’t want to be:
- ashamed of our performance or handiwork
- blamed when our efforts aren’t up to par
- judged inferior or lacking in some way
To move away from such fears and toward the freedom Christ offers (John 8:36), we need to CHILL by affirming these attitudes and actions.
I am:
- C elebrating more often what’s right, criticizing less often what’s wrong
- H appy with “good enough” when appropriate
- I nspiring others with my imperfections!
- L istening to the truth
- L oved by God as I am
To jump-start such declarations, consider the following.
CELEBRATE
When faulty efforts occur, we can CELEBRATE this: “A flawed rose still smells sweet” (Unknown). I can still carry the fragrance of Christ as I rely upon him through the mistakes and failures.
(Be) HAPPY
“We don’t have to be perfect to be wonderful” (Unknown).
Lots of fantastic people in this world display admirable qualities, but not one of them is perfect.
You’re wonderful too! Give yourself the same grace you give others.
INSPIRE
“There’s no need to be perfect in order to inspire others. Let people get inspired by how you deal with your imperfections”—Ziad K. Abdelnour.
Also true:
LISTEN
Listen to such truths as these to silence the voice of perfectionism:
- Jesus did live a perfect life yet was criticized incessantly. However, all he cared about was his Father’s approval, which God bestowed (Matthew 3:17). You know who else is approved? Everyone who believes in Jesus!
Everyone who believes has God’s approval
through faith in Jesus Christ.
Romans 3:22a GW
- The godly Apostle Paul admitted—after thirty-years as a Jesus-follower— he hadn’t achieved perfection. Even so, he found satisfaction in pressing on toward spiritual maturity (Philippians 3:12-13).
- We can combat the striving as we embrace God’s desires for us—to lie down in his green pastures now and then, and not fill every minute with activity—to lead us beside quiet waters, and not struggle in a churning ocean of busyness (Psalm 23:1-3).
(Receive) LOVE
God has made it clear: “[He] loves us because of who he is, not because of who we are” (Unknown, 1 John 4:10).
His love for us is:
- Sacrificial (Romans 5:8)
- Lavish (1 John 3:1)
- Patient, kind, unfailing, and more (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
- Forgiving (Ephesians 4:32)
- Everlasting (Jeremiah 31:3)
So! When perfectionism insists we aim even beyond excellence, let’s remember:
There are no perfect daughters, wives or mothers; no perfect sons, husbands, or fathers; no perfect employees, no perfect homes. No one has it 100% together.
“What we do have is a perfect God who is able to lead us through this imperfect life with unfailing strength, incomparable wisdom, and infinite love” (Unknown).
Like our granddaughter E., we can celebrate with joyful triumph the cumulating designs of our lives—imperfect though they may be.
Let’s CHILL!
Art & photo credits: http://www.flickr.com; http://www.canva.com (4); http://www.pixabay.com; http://www.canva.com.
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Only Jesus was perfect, Nancy, but when we embrace Him, God the Father sees us as perfect because of the Son. What a loving, forgiving, everlasting God we serve! May we not get caught up in the busyness of our lives that we neglect to see that design of who we uniquely are. Blessings, and thanks for the cute story about E.!
Such a wonder, that God sees us as perfect! I like the way The Passion Translation puts it:Colossians 1:22 says, “And now there is nothing between you and Father God, for he sees you as holy, flawless, and restored” (TPT). Hallelujah for that! / So glad you enjoyed the little story about E., Martha!
Good words of wisdom!
Thank you Dwight–praise God for his inspiration!
You are welcome!
Nancy, I can so relate to filling each waking moment with activity! When Tetris first came out, I was obsessed. I later realized it was because it was a picture of my life – trying to cram as many activities into a day as possible. If I could just get all the details done on one project, I could take the row off the screen (check the box for that day) and have more room (time) to deal with other commitments that I kept adding to my calendar. (I had a hard time saying “no “🙄) Eventually, there were so many unfinished projects that the screen was full, the game was over, and I was too burned out to be of any use to anyone. 🤦
I never thought of Tetris as a commentary on life, but you certainly described it very well, Annie! I too used to have a hard time saying no; it became easier as I got older. Someone once told me, “If you reluctantly say yes out of guilt, you might be stealing an opportunity from the person who can enthusiastically say yes out of excitement!” That helped!
That’s a great way to look at it! However, I was, unfortunately, enthusiastic about too many things. 😏🙄
Yes, there’s that too!! 😆
Your posts are wonderfully informative because you strive to do the best you can out of respect for God and His Holy Word. I loved your use of the acrostic form to emphasize CHILL. It certainly makes your wise advice more memorable! 🙂
Thank you, Nancy. God deserves our best. I just need to be watchful of over-striving! / I believe the Holy Spirit gave me the acrostic. Praise him for his inspiration–once again!
Jesus made it clear that we are to be more like children. I would like to think I don’t fall subject to perfectionism…but I do. These are great reminders to ponder. Thanks, Nancy.
You’re welcome, LInda. It may be that perfectionism is more widespread than we realize!
I read this post yesterday. Today perfectionism came up again in Surprised by Oxford as the author recounts how she came to a relationship with Christ. I love it when God works at getting a point across to me; he is gentle even when he has to make it obvious to me.
I’ve had that happen too, Linda, and agree–it’s one way God gets our attention in order to make a point. It’s also a sign of his love and compassion, wanting so much for us to enjoy his best for us.
Thanks for sharing this encouraging post, my friend. I too have to remind myself that God is the standard. My standard falls far short of His. I love how you broke down how we can comeback this character flaw
Thank you, Brenda. You’re so right–comparing ourselves to others is foolish when God’s perfection is the standard. Praise God for his grace and mercy!
Amen 🙏🏽 too many times we will miss the standard when we look to others.
As always, thank you Nancy for your encouraging posts!
I love this that you shared:
“What we do have is a perfect God who is able to lead us through this imperfect life with unfailing strength, incomparable wisdom, and infinite love” (Unknown).
Happy Weekend, my friend!
Thank you, Pam. Praise God you found encouragement here!
Oh my. Before I even finished reading I thought, “I need to print this post and put it up on the wall where I can see it every day”. I struggle with perfectionist tendencies in the form of detail-oriented behavior, physical order, and to-do lists. No question I could use a little CHILL. Thank you for your knowing words, Nancy, especially this paragraph: “All too frequently I’ve strived for unattainable goals, wasted time on unimportant details, or sacrificed rest while slaving through a lengthy to-do-list. I’ve also cared too much what other people thought.”
There are probably more of us with perfectionist tendencies that we realize. We can all aim to CHILL (imperfectly!) together!
P.S. Forgot to say, I’m honored that you found this post worthy of posting on the wall! As always I must praise God for his inspiration.
wow wonderful illustration and lesson for all of us. Love the quotes especially this one: “A flawed rose still smells sweet” (Unknown). Copied and put into my journal! one to remember!
I love that you and I share a love of quotes, Jean. A number of them in my journal came from your wonderful blog or FB posts!
Seeing life through the joyful lens of a child as they discover and try new things is so fun. May we all have the faith of a child in trusting in Jesus.
Indeed yes–child-like faith should be our aim (Matthew 18:3). Time and again children show us the way, don’t they?
What an inspired post, Nancy, reminding me of the verse in Galatians, “For [through] freedom, Christ has set us free.” And because of Him, we are free indeed from those legalistic and defeating demands we place on ourselves which cause us to lose the freedom we have in Christ. Striving to live in that freedom keeps our hearts and minds on Him, our Father’s love and delight in us who are in Christ, and off ourselves. If perfection is sought, it is in Christ, not ourselves, and that is good news indeed!
Thank you so much for this needed reminder, Nancy.
Thank you for adding that scripture to the conversation, Dora. Hallalujah–Christ has set us free! Those are five words to repeat OFTEN!
I love the CHILL.
So glad you do, Barb–and praise God for his inspiration!
I suffered from perfectionism for many years. So this definitely spoke to me. Of course, we can never achieve perfection. It is only God who is perfect. We are saved by the blood of Christ, not our own achievements.
You are so right Anna–perfectionism is out of our reach. I’m thinking that’s GOOD news, otherwise we’d be driven to madness, trying every moment to do the perfect thing perfectly! Jesus, the only perfect One has saved us from the clutches of the enemy, including the spirit of perfectionism. Hallelujah!
Nancy,
Be still and know He is God. So easy to say, so hard to do.
Thanks, Gary
Gary Avants Forbear Productions * *garyavants66@gmail.com garyavants66@gmail.com
So true, Gary! We can pray that practice makes perfect.
Having been diagnosed decades ago with OCD (which is somewhat related to perfectionism) I have struggled with being perfect for most of my adult life. I take antidepressants which have helped with both OCD and anxiety. But during the past couple of years, I have noticed that the more time I spend with the Lord in devotion and prayer many of my OCD traits have fallen away. I praise the Lord for this blessed improvement in my life. I have been more relaxed and less stressed, although I do have my moments.
I have my moments too, Cheri! Kudos to you, my friend, for reaching out to God, which has allowed the OCD traits to fall away!
Tetris is the best video game ever and the way you blended it into your post with that story is magnificent.
Thank you C. W. R. I’m glad God brought that little episode to mind and inspired me to flesh it out into a post!
Another rich and personally meaningful message meant for me. Thank you so much, Nancy! This one is a keeper. Blessings, my friend.
Praise God, Patty, you found this post meaningful to you. That encourages me greatly. As always, I praise God for his inspiration!
I love the acronym! What a wonderful way to refocus my eyes on Jesus and not what I’m “trying” to do for Him. I love the fact that He didn’t save me to work for Him, but because He loves me and wants me to enjoy Him. This is spiritual battle at its toughest–trying to be perfect when we’re human, broken, finite, and living in an imperfect broken world. This is great, Nancy. Thank you.
You are so welcome, Dayle. Praise God for giving me this acrostic as I began to research this post. I needed the encouragement too, that often “good enough” is all we need to achieve, saving time and effort for what’s really important.
Love this beautiful reminder of how perfectly imperfect we are. He loves us ‘ before, during and after our striving’. Even when we get weary and worn out trying to be perfect.
Amen, my friend–and well said!