On Friday, September 26, my younger brother, John, called with the heartbreaking news that our mother, age 85, had suffered a massive stroke. Her entire right side was affected; she could neither see nor talk. The prognosis left little room for hope.
By Sunday morning I was on a plane for Austin, Texas, to see Mom and care for Dad (age 90) while John and his wife, Collene, took care of numerous business matters related to Mom’s and Dad’s welfare.
For at least ten years Mom has been Dad’s primary care giver, due to his degenerative arthritis and Parkinson’s disease. But she considered her responsibilities a privilege, often saying, “He took care of me for many years; now it’s my turn. He’s my ministry now.”
For ten days we put our hope in God and witnessed his power at work. In spite of great sadness, we could say, “For we will yet praise him, our Savior and our God” (Psalm 42:5), as he blessed us with his presence, guidance, and provision.
Mom was taken to Brackenridge, a teaching hospital, where she received conscientious, compassionate care. Doctors and nurses alike spent time with us, patiently explaining Mom’s condition and what we could expect.
Though she could not speak, and her brain had sustained extensive damage due to swelling, Mom communicated her love with hand squeezes. She also drew our hands to her lips for kisses.
My daughter, Heather, received permission from her kind boss to take time away from work and fly to Austin. She was able to stay for three days, visiting her grandmother, offering help, and lifting the spirits of us all.
On Day Five, I believe, it was recommended that Mom be moved to Hospice. Immediately the name of a highly respected facility came to Collene’s mind. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if Grandma were taken to Christopher House, she thought. But that particular hospice is small. What were the chances that a bed would be available? Collene kept the thought to herself, just in case Mom was assigned elsewhere.
Sure enough, a representative from Christopher House came to the hospital and directed us through the process to have Mom transferred there. An added blessing: John and Collene knew one of the nurses. She asked to be assigned to our mother for the duration of Mom’s stay.
Meanwhile, we visited three nursing homes for Dad. (He had told Mom on numerous occasions, “Just put me in a nursing home!” She wouldn’t hear of it. Only four months ago did she agree to have a care-giver come four hours a day.)
All three facilities were close to John and Collene, all relatively new. One seemed a particularly good fit for Dad’s needs and interests.
Two doctor’s appointments, many phone calls, and much paperwork later, Dad was approved and processed for admittance to the nursing home we had hoped for. The day before my flight home I did laundry for Dad, gathered toiletries and other items, and marked his name on all belongings.
The next morning, Wednesday, John and Collene got Dad settled, and I flew home.
Later, John sent me a video of Dad playing a piano duet with a staff member. Granted, he could only play with one finger, but he packed a lot of rhythm and soul into those single notes. What a delight to see him having a good time–already.
That night we spoke by phone. Dad told me the folks at his dining table enjoyed his jokes, and he’d already taken advantage of the library.
On Thursday, October 9, Mom graduated to heaven. It was her father’s birthday.
Do they celebrate birthdays in heaven? I’d like to think that my grandmother and grandfather stood at the gate to greet Mom, as Jesus ushered her in. Together with many family and friends who already reside in heaven, they celebrated her arrival as a precious gift for Gramps’ birthday. Somehow it seems very fitting.
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You can read my mother’s story at http://www.memorialwebsites.legacy.com/gerischaub.
(Photo credit: www.jeanierhoades.com )
From the Inside Out 
Nancy, we have met on a couple of occasions at BBC. I adore your mother. She very deliberately mentored me as a young wife and mother. She was so positive and embracing of young families. Even as the church grew and changed perhaps out of her preferences, she would rejoice because it meant younger people were being reached. I really appreciated that about her. My now seventeen year old son “starred” with her in the Singing Christmas Tree several years ago. We treasure our memories from that holiday season. It has grieved me to be so far away (we moved to Iowa three years ago) during these last days. I have prayed from afar but would especially love to hold your sweet dad’s hand for a bit just now. I will try to see him when we are home again. You have my love and sympathy. I’m so thankful for your mother and her grace and generosity.
Sweet tears flow as I read your kind comments, Amy. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, encouragement, and memories. They mean so much.
You explained your experience in the passing of your Mother with true love. We have talked before how your Mother wanted to be your Father’s caregiver. She is now in the loving hands of God. God bless you. Hugs.
Thank you, Laura. We are indeed grateful for the hope that is stored up for us in heaven (Colossians 1:5)! That hope is another generous blessing of God, isn’t it, knowing that one day we will all be reunited–for eternity!
Your mother will be remembered and praised for the wonderful way she lived her life and loved our Lord. I’m so sorry for how your heart must ache at her going, but I know you find peace and joy in all that we who believe in Him are promised. Love to you as you walk through these difficult times. ❤️
Thank you, dear Ginny, for your heartfelt words. I feel your love and support across the miles!
So sorry for your loss. Your in our prayers.
Thank you, Connie. I do feel the prayer support!
I am sorry, Nancy… Please know I am thinking about you and will be praying.
Thank you, Heidi. So grateful for your thoughts and prayers. Such an encouragement!
Oh, Nancy. That is a whole lot. I hear your sadness, and your rejoicing, and I pray for all of you peace and joy in your memories. And for your dad, special prayers for a peaceful settling into his new environs without his partner. This part is so hard – and yet so rich, at the same time. Bless you.
Oh, yes, Diana–hard and rich at the same time. Exactly! There is indeed great peace and rejoicing that Mom is enjoying heaven and all its wonders. Thank you for your blessing–I feel it!
So sorry for your loss, may the Lord continue to give you His peace and strength. Love Lidia
Indeed He is, Lidia. Thank you, sweet friend.
Nancy, I’m sure that there are birth-days in Heaven. How fitting that your mom should go home when she did. Thank you for sharing this with us….how blessed we are for the sustaining care and love of family. You are in my prayers.
…And the sustaining care and love of friends–like you. Thank you for your concern and prayers. Appreciate you so much, Jody…
I’m sorry for your loss and rejoice with you on the timely homecoming. The decisions your family made are obviously God directed. I pray for your comfort. Thank you for sharing your journey.
Thank you, Rita, for your prayers for comfort. Even as the tears come I feel God’s loving arms around me, and hear his promise that one day we WILL all be together again! What a glorious hope we have because of Jesus!!
I’m so sorry for your loss, Nancy. From reading your post and her obituary, it’s clear that you had a wonderful mother. She was very pretty too, but she’s so much more beautiful now.
Praying that the Holy Spirit brings you and everyone that loved her much comfort.
Thank you, Bill, for your kinds comments and thoughtful prayer.
Thank you for sharing your story. Prayers are answered indeed when we are blessed with family like yours. We are sorry for your loss, yet we too rejoice that your mother has been called home, to live without pain or suffering.
Thank you, Jennifer. Your sweet words are a comfort.
What a loving tribute to your mother, Nancy. When they announced her passing at FUMC Hudson, you could hear a gasp from the congregation. I am sorry for your loss but rejoice that the promises of our Risen Lord are true.
How heart-warming to know of the care and support of FUMC Hudson friends. And, oh, yes! Praise God for his promise of eternal life in heaven with him! I can’t imagine living without that hope!
Dear Nancy: I am crying as I write this. I hadn’t expected that your Mom’s graduation date to Heaven would be so soon. I know how special she was simply because I know what kind of daughter she raised. All I can offer is my condolences and the appreciation of God’s wisdom in taking her home so that she wouldn’t have to endure the often long and hard circumstances that come with a stroke. I’m thinking there will be two birthdays in heaven that we celebrate: That day we entered our earthly world from the womb…and the renewed birth we experienced when we accepted Christ into our hearts. I am very thankful that things worked out so well with finding your Dad a wonderful place to live. Please know that I am praying for you, Steve, and your extended family…as well as your Brother and his family. And of course, your Dad as well. With love and prayers, Cheri.
Thank you, Cheri for your love and prayers. I, too, am thankful God spared Mom the difficult and debilitating circumstances that can follow a stroke. And your idea of TWO birthdays in heaven is a delightful one!
have had you in my prayers Nancy and what a beautiful tribute to your parents. Lovely writing from the heart! blessings
Thank you, Jean. Indeed, my parents are* two extraordinary people. (*I use present tense because, praise God, Mom is not gone, just residing in a different place–heaven!)