Twenty-eight years ago today, I sat alone at our kitchen table in a quiet house. It was the first day of school. Each of our three children had been delivered to their classrooms for second, fifth, and eighth grades.
I hadn’t expected to be home alone that day; my plan had included my own class of elementary students. For thirteen years I’d focused on raising our three and had taken a hiatus from teaching.
Two years prior to this particular morning I’d returned to work part-time and taken classes to update my teaching certificate. Then came resume-writing and the application process. I also started substitute teaching in order to become known within the district.
But few positions were posted. A candidate with no recent experience was probably shuffled to the bottom of the resume pile. I did not receive one call for an interview.
Frustration and depression clouded my spirit. Yes, the part-time job was still available (come October), but part-time pay was not going to cover college expenses for our three children. It was time to grow the retirement nest egg too.
That morning I wrote the following in my journal (with some recent editing).
Dear God,
Today is the first day of school and I am without a teaching position. Needless to say I‘m frustrated, depressed, and confused. Why did I put myself through such a hectic schedule last year, working part-time and going to school? Why did I not receive even one call for an interview? What am I doing wrong? Am I supposed to be pursuing something else?
These kinds of questions have plagued me for days.
Yet, Lord, you are in control, and you always work things out for my good (Romans 8:28). Intellectually I know that’s true but emotionally I’m still struggling.
Then last night you led me to that article in Decision Magazine, written by the young woman who’d been ordained a minister but had no church to pastor.
She said, “I just don’t get it. I told a group of friends, ‘God has given me a marvelous vision for my life, so much encouragement and training. But now it’s as if he has put me on a shelf. My talents are being wasted.’ ”
Months earlier someone had told her she’d have a long and illustrious career. Articles were written about her achievements. There were awards.
“But circumstances suddenly turned against me. My search for a position went unrewarded. I asked the Lord to intervene. He was silent.”
The article included highlights from the story of Joseph. He endured much greater tribulation than just waiting. And though Joseph too must have had questions, he refused to quit believing.
The author expressed questions of her own:
“When God reveals his plans for us, aren’t the paths we take supposed to be smooth and sure? Shouldn’t we go from Point A to Point B without a hassle? Apparently not.”
Again, Joseph and countless others are our examples. Yet I was beginning to think that because no teaching position had opened up, my desire to return to the classroom was misguided, that somewhere I’d gone wrong.
But this author says: “When we encounter seemingly insurmountable difficulties in striving to do God’s will, we may be certain that it is all part of a greater plan.”
And then she quoted Romans 8:28. M-m-m. The same verse you’ve been whispering to me.
In closing the author said, “The story of Joseph taught me the importance of putting my total trust in the Lord at all times and leaving it there, especially when the path ahead is covered by fog.
“Following Jesus is an adventure in living…At times we are confused by delays and detours. We may think God is remote. Yet the more intimate our relationship with the Master becomes, the more we will trust him for the business of our lives.”
Oh Lord, thank you for speaking to me so directly through this timely article.
“I WILL wait on you; I will (try to!) be courageous and allow you to strengthen my heart” (Psalm 27:14).
The following Monday, August 31, I began a one-week substitute job at a nearby elementary school. I’d subbed there before.
On September 11, the principal offered me a position; one of the third grade teachers was moving to another school.
I stood before my own class on September 15, breathless from the quick reversal of circumstances.
But my questions were never answered. I don’t know if my resume was faulty. I don’t know why no one called for an interview. I don’t know why God didn’t open up a position sooner.
Here’s what I do know:
- In that time of delay and disappointment, I experienced a small miracle. Through that article I just happened to read he provided the peace, hope, and comfort I needed.
- God was perfecting my ability to trust in him—no matter what.
- · He was also perfecting patience, humility, and submission.
Important lessons, right?
Note to self: When Plan A does not unfold, it is likely a greater plan is being fulfilled. Our Plan A is often circumstantial; God’s greater plan is most often spiritual.
Can I submit to that?
(Photo credits: http://www.piqsels.com; http://www.pxfuel.com; http://www.needpix.com; http://www.heartlight.org.)
From the Inside Out 
Love your note to self and the correlation with Joseph’s story. I too have experienced this and we certainly learn more when we look back and reflect after some time. Do you think it gets easier as we experience this more? In some ways it does as I learn to trust more with real experience of seeing how God works but also it doesn’t when discouragement and confusion rule my heart. Glad things ended up working out fairly quickly for you in this instance. Blessings.
In answer to your question, Jean: yes, I think acceptance of Plan Bs becomes easier after we’ve experienced a few of them. Even so, during the waiting and wondering stage, questions can still rise, doubts can still fester. But each time we endure these situations, and seek God’s strength and wisdom through the process, I, too, think our trust level improves. Yes, God surely blessed me with that quick turn of events. Little did I know what God had in store–just three weeks after!
A timely message for me as well! I wish I could say I was in the middle of a transition but I’m in the waiting room for the transition to a new career. A fog is a could way to describe where I am. I have no idea where I’m going. No idea which way to turn. All I can think to do is whatever seems obvious and then wait on the Lord to direct me. I do feel He is teaching me a greater and deeper trust in the midst of my waiting. He is reminding me of His sovereignty over my life and circumstances. I will wait on Him because He is good and faithful and sees the bigger picture. Thank you for this reminder!
Your comments encourage me, as you express deeper trust in God’s sovereignty, goodness and faithfulness, especially since he can see the bigger picture. AMEN, my friend! Lord, we ARE depending on you to make your plan clear in your good time. In the meantime, we wait–as patiently as we can!
Amen!!
I needed this today; thank you! Hopefully once I figure out what the rest of God’s plan is in a couple of areas in my life, I’ll come back and connect the dots here! Thank you for your encouraging words.
Praise God for his timing, to inspire this post at a crucial time for you. And do come back and tell us your story, to freshen our faith!
LOVE this story and you have told it well. No, we don’t always know why things unfold the way they do. But we can trust — sometimes with much fear, trembling and angst! — that God can see out further than we can, that all will be well. Thanks, Nancy, for this good reminder!
Oh, yes! I want to be able to affirm “It Is Well with My Soul,” even when disappointment, hurt, or puzzling circumstances push me off balance. Trust in our sovereign God is what brings us back to center. Thank you for stopping by, Diana, and taking time to comment. I hope you’re making good progress in your new home!
A great story from your own ‘history’, Nancy! It is especially difficult when after obeying God and following the path He has chosen for us we hit what looks like a dead end. That is when the devil gets to work to make us doubt our decisions and faith in the Lord. The devil uses every opportunity to trip us up and get us off track spiritually. Thanks for the reminder that God has a purpose in delaying…to strengthen our trust and growth in Him!
Isn’t that the truth: the devil works overtime planting seeds of doubt and discouragement when we’re in a holding pattern. You’ve reminded me of a saying I heard a decade or so ago, that has helped me during wait times: “God’s delays are not necessarily his denials.” Brings hope to the situation. ‘Glad you found the story meaningful, Cheri!
Nancy, I really like that quote “God’s delays are not necessarily his denials”!
This coming Monday is August 31. Don’t know why I’m pointing that out. Just wanted to say something because I so greatly appreciate you, Nancy. Aha, that’s what I wanted to say.
August 31: the anniversary of the beginning of a turnaround in my life story, but at the time, I was totally unaware. It’s a date worth remembering, to affirm God is always working behind the scenes and tomorrow the answer may come. THAT’s why you pointed out the date! 🙂 Thank you for your kind words, Mitch.
Beautifully written, Mom. I really enjoyed this glimpse into what you were going through at that time. I was too young to really know or understand. Your insights and connections are encouraging.
Thank you, Sweetheart. It is an honor to encourage you, as you’ve encouraged me many times!
Great story, Nancy. This makes me think of our failed round of fertility drugs. We felt the Lord telling us we were to have a third child, the drugs did what they were supposed to, we did what we were supposed to and…nothing. I wondered if I had heard Him wrong. It’s very disorienting spiritually when you are sure He has spoken, then the door slams shut.
You are right that when plan A doesn’t pan out, it’s likely He has a bigger one. Definitely the case for me. I believe you’ve just inspired a future post for me! 😀
Oh, yes, Rebeca–do tell us your story!
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