How would you complete this statement?
“____________________ is the rarest and purest form of generosity.”
Possibilities might include:
A. Financial assistance
B. A thoughtful, meaningful present
C. A favor or kind deed
D. Attention
According to a speaker I heard on the radio, the answer is D. He was evidently quoting Christian author and activist for the poor, Simone Weil (1909-1943):
Attention is a rare form of generosity, because it involves time and effort—both of which are precious commodities.
But every now and then, all of us need someone to focus her eyes on ours, listen to our words with mental concentration, and respond appropriately–even pick up on our facial expressions and tone of voice.
That’s often the exception, however, not the norm. Who has not tried to share a deep, heartfelt concern, only to have the listener look away at a slight distraction or steal a glance at her phone, then fail to react appropriately because she wasn’t tuned in to the story? Worse yet is when she interrupts with her own story, her own agenda.
I don’t want to be that distracted person. I’d like to follow my brother’s example. John has always been one to give up the precious commodity of time for others.
During our growing up years, we lived next door to a family with five children. Tragedy struck one afternoon when the father fell while repairing their roof. He hit his head on the concrete driveway and never regained consciousness. The next day he was gone.
Though John was at least seven or eight years older than three of those neighbor boys, he would play ball with them now and again, giving them a bit of attention, which they surely needed.
One time when Fred, the third oldest child, came to our door and asked, “Can John come out to play?” we had to laugh. (Not in front of Fred, of course.) At the time, John was in his early twenties, serving in the Air Force and home on leave! But he did go out to play.
I’d also like to follow the example of Dixie, the choir director of one of the churches where my husband served as pastor. She perfectly demonstrated how to live out Philippians 2:4 (NIV): “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others” (1).
Dixie always stayed focused on the persons sharing with her. She was responsive, without saying too much, letting the speakers know they were being heard and understood.
Great satisfaction can result from providing the gift of attention to another. But that’s not the only blessing.
- We gain a better understanding of life while listening to the experiences of others. “A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions” (Proverbs 18:2 NIV).
- Our own relationships can be strengthened as we learn from the examples of those who share with us.
- Worthwhile ideas are discovered—ideas we may never have thought of on our own.
- When we’re kind to the needy, we honor God (Proverbs 14:31b).
* * * * * * * * * *
Lord, I don’t want to be wrapped up in my own agenda. I’d much rather be like my brother, John—generous with my time and communicating encouragement through my attentive presence. Help me also to be an attentive listener like Dixie. Remind me, Father, to slow down, embrace the moment and genuinely interact with those around me.
- Note to self: Concern for self is not wrong as long as true compassion for others balances the scale of my attention.
(Art & photo credits: www.pinterest.com; http://www.publicdomainpictures.net; http://www.pinterest.com (2).
Who has provided the rare gift of attention for you? What did you appreciate most about that gift? Please share your story in the Comments section below!
From the Inside Out 
Our pastor once said you can make more money, but no one can make more time. Truly, it is one of the most precious resources we have. So much talk, and not enough listening. Thank you for this reminder.
You’re welcome, Dawn. Your pastor was so right: time is very precious. Spending it on others (and honoring God in the process) contributes to satisfaction and fulfillment in life. I need the reminder, too!
one of the issues I have had with my ADHD is interrupting. it appeared to others I was rude. what I finally understood was happening is this: with my distractibility, when I listened to someone, a thought would pop into my mind and if I didn’t say it then i would forget it even if it was important, so my attention went to remembering what I wanted to be able to say, not because i was self centered. I just knew i would not remember.
Now my friends know I often sit with a napkin and a pen and jot down thoughts as they come into my mind, so my napkin holds my thought for me and I can now listen attentively. Some of those thoughts are irrelevant and never get said. some are and the I can wait until they are relevant.
My answer to the blank before i read the post was “presence.” 🙂
Bravo to you for problem-solving your ADHD symptoms! And I love your word for the fill-in-the-blank. Such an elegant synonym for attention!
I love your note to self, Nancy. I’m adopting it…I like the imagery of balancing the scales of my attention with compassion for others. Compassion and generosity of attention isn’t something that comes naturally to me, so that image is super helpful. 😊
Like so many other scales in our lives, attention can easily become unbalanced if we spend too much time and energy on others or ourselves. That verse in Philippians reminds me that both are valid and important. ‘So glad you also found that note to self worthwhile, Rebeca!
Thanks for the good advice.
You’ve already got this, Nikki. No need for further lessons for you! 🙂
I enjoyed this important blog; especially the part about Dixie. Thank you, Nancy. Wishing you well. Love, Diane
Thank you, Diane. Dixie left us a “shining star” legacy (Phil. 2:14-15), didn’t she? Thank you also for your well wishes. We are reveling in retirement close to our sons. ‘Praying that you, too, are enjoying days of delightful blessings!
Just for the record, Nancy, I’ve observed you being just like John and Dixie. Thank you for being you!
Oh, thank YOU, Debbie. Praise God the stellar examples of others ARE rubbing off on me–at least in part!
We will always be grateful for the attention you and Steve showed us 30+ years ago when we were lost and on the brink of divorce…you not only listened but loved much!! Where would we be today without your friendship which not only shared the gospel but also mentored us …you modeled Christ so beautifully for us!! Loved this post… Great reminder in this crazy busy world!!! ❤️
And we praise God for the miraculous way he brought us together, nurtured us as we prayed for and sought to nurture you, and solidified our friendship for ever after! Our God is SO good!
What you say is very true demonstrates a reason The Stephen Ministry program is so important!
Thank you, Nancy!
You’re right: Stephen Ministers are angels of attention, aren’t they!
I too love your note to self. great advice. Really listening, active listening, noticing the other – is rare indeed. I know I fail at this miserably. Often leaving a store and not even remembering who checked me out. horrible habit of not living in the present, loving the other right before me. You got me thinking tonight, Nancy.
Oh, Jean, God bless you for your honesty and humility. I have a feeling you are more attentive than you realize. As for the checkout person, praise God for second chances! You can connect with him/her the next time you’re at Kroger’s (or wherever)!
You are so right. These days attention is a rare commodity. Knowing how it feels when someone isn’t tuned into what I’m sharing…I will endeavor to improve upon that myself. Great reminder!
Thank you, Cheri. Perhaps if I remind myself how uncommon attentiveness is, I’ll be more likely to share it. What a privilege to bless others with the rare jewels of time and effort!