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Posts Tagged ‘Improving a negative attitude’

Long ago one of my cousins (Alice, I think) knitted her brother a sweater for Christmas, and had almost finished it by the end of November when the extended family gathered for Thanksgiving.  However, the sweater had turned out much too big, and Alice was stymied how to downsize it.

“Give it to me,” suggested Aunt Orsie, the most skilled knitter in the group.  “I think we can fix that.”  As she chatted away the afternoon with the other aunts and older cousins, Aunt Orsie helped Alice take apart the sweater, undo the extra rows, snip, knit, and bind off the shortened rows until the sweater had miraculously shrunk to proper proportions.  (That terminology and order of steps is likely inaccurate—I’m not a knitter!)

Alterations make a significant difference, and not only in the way clothing fits.  As we know, standard counter height can be altered to accommodate those especially short or tall, and the print in books can be altered to accommodate the visually impaired.

Some alterations, however, are much more challenging to accomplish—even more difficult than downsizing a sweater.  Take attitudes, for example.  How do we alter negativity into positivity, a critical spirit into grace, discouragement into hope, or frustration into gratitude?

Here are a few possibilities:

Negativity can be altered by a different viewpoint.

Poet Langston Hughes wrote:

How altered our attitude could be if we searched for the rainbows and refused to focus on the dust of life.

A critical spirit can be altered by truth.

Perhaps you’ve heard the story of the family on a beach vacation.  While building a sandcastle their first day, the children spotted an old woman wearing a faded dress and floppy hat, bent over and mumbling to herself as she approached.  Every now and then she picked bits out of the sand and put them in a burlap bag.  

Though the children called hello to her, the woman didn’t respond.  She appeared lost in her own world. The parents watched warily, expressed their doubts about her mental state and a hotel that would allow her on their premises. They warned the children to stay away from her.

Each day the woman combed the beach, muttering and plucking as she went.  Finally the family asked the concierge if he knew about this strange woman.

“Oh yes,” he said.  “That’s Mrs. Thompson, a retired schoolteacher who lives up the road. She’s made it her mission to rid this section of beach of anything that might cut people’s feet, and while she walks, Mrs. Thompson prays for the people nearby.  No doubt she prayed for you!”

Discouragement can be altered by hope.

And in what do we hope? 

  • The promises of God
  • The development of our character, growing us into our best selves
  • The fact that God executes good plans even through our suffering 
  • That for those of us who know Jesus, the best is always ahead*

We know these routes to hope; it’s the determination to take them that requires our diligence.

Frustration can be altered by appreciation.

Sometime during our younger son’s toddler days, he scribbled on several pages of my Bible–splotchy eyesores among my straight-edge underlinings and carefully written comments. 

As the years went by, however, when I’d encounter one of those scrawls, my response completely altered.  “Aw, there’s one of Jeremy’s notes,” I’d smile, remembering the rambunctious and ever cheerful little boy he once was, just trying to be like Mommy and Daddy.

My frustration not only disappeared but became appreciation.

No matter the attitude that needs altering there is a means to transform it.   We can snip away at undesirable attitudes (like negativity and a critical spirit) with proper perspective and truth.  We can bind off the damage of harmful emotions (like discouragement and frustration) with hope and gratitude.

Most beneficial of all, we can invite God to miraculously shrink our erroneous ways of thinking until we’re good and pleasing to him.

What attitude-alteration have you witnessed or experienced?  Please share in the comment section below!  


* See the previous post, Promises Kept as well as Romans 5:3-5 and 1 Corinthians 2:9.

Photo credits: http://www.maxpixel.net; http://www.canva.com; http://www.quotefancy.com; Nancy Ruegg; http://www.canva.com.

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Oh, boy. Here she comes again. ‘Seems like she seeks me out every week. Lord, help me.

As Mrs. T. approached me after church, I braced myself for a lengthy, one-sided conversation. Mrs. T. loved to talk, usually about herself, her pains and struggles. As annoyance and frustration would build within me, all I could think about was how to get away without offending.

Now I realize there is a remedy for such situations.

I could have had V-8!

No, not the fortified tomato juice—the VICTORY x 8!

 

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I can win over annoyance and frustration—when faced with situations I cannot change—even those circumstances much bigger than aggravating people.

The “times eight” refers to eight ways the battle can be fought. By implementing the following actions, victory can be mine:

  1. Confession and repentance provide the best place to begin. Lord, my attitude toward Mrs. T is negative and unloving; bitterness and self-pity have taken root. Help me to abandon those roots so they shrivel up and die.
  1. Forgiveness.  You, oh God, have forgiven me of so much; how dare I withhold forgiveness from Mrs. T? Help me to remember that forgiveness is not a feeling; it’s a commitment to lay aside the offense—as many times as necessary.
  1. Prayer for the person(s). Father, my first inclination is to pray you reveal to Mrs. T. how annoying her self-centered chatter can be! But your wisdom dictates I pray blessing upon her (Luke 6:28). Ease the distresses and frustrations in her.  Show me how I can help, beyond providing a listening ear.

 

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  1. Thought Control. Those resentful, self-pitying thoughts in my mind want front-and-center attention, Lord. Turn my focus instead to gratitude. Thank you for the privilege of being your ears and perhaps your voice for Mrs. T.  
  1. Attitude Adjustment. Oh God, help me keep a proper perspective. On a “Scale of Measurement for Difficulties in Life”, Mrs. T rates only a 1 or 2. Forgive me for allowing such a small annoyance to steal my joy.
  1. Affirmation of God’s sovereignty and attributes. It is well within your power to redeem this situation, Lord. Help me to embrace the fact you may have a different plan– that redemptive change take place within me rather than in the situation. May I avail myself of your strength, determination, and wisdom for that change.
  1. Expectation. As Mrs. T. approaches, Father, remind me that you are working for my good and hers. My good undoubtedly includes growing the fruit of the Spirit. But it’s also possible you have planned an additional positive outcome that will surprise and delight—at the proper time.

 

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  1. Perseverance.  Thank you for that glorious promise in James 1:4–that perseverance in faith principles produces maturity and sound character. Thank you for the joy and peace that results—so much more satisfying that allowing frustration to fester!

 

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Since those days of listening to Mrs. T, have I always applied V-8 to difficult situations? No. Annoyance, bitterness, and a host of other negative emotions can still crop up as challenges arise. This post was much more for me than anyone else.

When the next problem occurs and I feel weak to handle it, I’m serving up some V-8!

 

(Art & photo credits:  www.quotes.gram.com; http://www.faithmessenger.com; http://www.pinterest.com; http://www.indulgy.com; http://www.pinterest.com.)

 

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FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

This is a Ministry of Oasis Bible Ministry, a Fundamental Full-Gospel Bible Teaching Ministry

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