“By myself!” “By myself!” “By myself!” Numerous times each day our granddaughter asserts herself, announcing with much gusto that whatever the task, she can handle it.
But Elena just turned two. Although her confidence is high, skills are limited. When it’s time to go upstairs, “by myself” means down on all fours, one limb at a time. One hand up, and then the other. One foot up and then the other. It is a slow and laborious process.
In addition, the grown-up in her wake must be very sly about offering support. No hand on the back, or even hovering where Elena can see it. She’ll cast aside such safety precautions and announce firmly once again, “By myself!”
Hand washing is another activity she prefers to do independently. But her attempts to pump out a dollop of liquid soap often end unsuccessfully. The soap usually lands in or around the sink—not in her hand.
And once the soap is in her palm, Elena reaches for the faucet. Forget the actual washing. If we try to help, she pulls her hands away. “By myself!” Even when she acquiesces, her scrubbing efforts leave much to be desired. Squeezing is her version.
And rinsing is another issue. “By myself” often results in enthusiastic splattering of water on dry dishes, counter, and backsplash.
Mealtimes offer more opportunities for autonomy. “By myself” means she will hold her spoon or fork as she chooses, not as the grown-ups have shown her numerous times. Elena has yet to figure out that holding a utensil at the very end of the handle is not very efficient. (The child in the photo is not our Elena, but is demonstrating the same technique.)
Because of her unwieldy grip, Elena ends up turning the spoon upside down as it approaches her mouth. Needless to say, most of the food ends up on her chin, in her bib pocket, on her clothes, on the tray, or back in the dish.
We shake our heads and roll our eyes. Toddlers!
Then it dawns on me. Sometimes I’m not much more mature than a toddler in God’s family. I’ve been known to proclaim “by myself,” too:
- “Yes, Lord, I need you to take care of the important matters, but I can handle the small stuff by myself. ”
- “I’ll make this decision by myself, Lord, because—to be honest–I’m not sure I’ll like your choice.”
- “I can decide by myself what will make me happy, Lord.”
Yep, I can be as foolish as a toddler, even though great wisdom is available to me.
Wisdom such as:
“Start with God.
The first step in learning
is bowing down to God.
Only fools thumb their noses
at such wisdom and learning”
(Proverbs 1:7, MSG).
Ouch. But Solomon is right. God made me; he knows the best course for me. Over and over again he has proven himself worthy of my trust — guiding my way, providing for my needs, empowering me to accomplish his plans.
If I can’t trust the One who died for me, who can I trust?
Any time I’m tempted to approach a situation or decision by myself, I need to remember:
“God always gives the best
to those who leave the choice to him”
–Selwyn Hughes
* * * * * * * * * *
Oh, Father, forgive me for the times I have foolishly asserted my independence. Help me to relinquish control to you. I’ve lived long enough to know from experience that living life by myself does not result in satisfaction. Help me become a person who turns to you first, and asks, “What do YOU want me to do, Lord?” because you are the all-wise One of the universe. And I know the benefits of following you will far outweigh any costs.
(Photo credits: www.motherhood.modernmom.com; http://www.childcare.oxfordcounty.ca; http://www.cleftstories.com; http://www.covedevotions2010.blogspot.com.)