“By myself!” “By myself!” “By myself!” Numerous times each day our granddaughter asserts herself, announcing with much gusto that whatever the task, she can handle it.
But Elena just turned two. Although her confidence is high, skills are limited. When it’s time to go upstairs, “by myself” means down on all fours, one limb at a time. One hand up, and then the other. One foot up and then the other. It is a slow and laborious process.
In addition, the grown-up in her wake must be very sly about offering support. No hand on the back, or even hovering where Elena can see it. She’ll cast aside such safety precautions and announce firmly once again, “By myself!”
Hand washing is another activity she prefers to do independently. But her attempts to pump out a dollop of liquid soap often end unsuccessfully. The soap usually lands in or around the sink—not in her hand.
And once the soap is in her palm, Elena reaches for the faucet. Forget the actual washing. If we try to help, she pulls her hands away. “By myself!” Even when she acquiesces, her scrubbing efforts leave much to be desired. Squeezing is her version.
And rinsing is another issue. “By myself” often results in enthusiastic splattering of water on dry dishes, counter, and backsplash.
Mealtimes offer more opportunities for autonomy. “By myself” means she will hold her spoon or fork as she chooses, not as the grown-ups have shown her numerous times. Elena has yet to figure out that holding a utensil at the very end of the handle is not very efficient. (The child in the photo is not our Elena, but is demonstrating the same technique.)
Because of her unwieldy grip, Elena ends up turning the spoon upside down as it approaches her mouth. Needless to say, most of the food ends up on her chin, in her bib pocket, on her clothes, on the tray, or back in the dish.
We shake our heads and roll our eyes. Toddlers!
Then it dawns on me. Sometimes I’m not much more mature than a toddler in God’s family. I’ve been known to proclaim “by myself,” too:
- “Yes, Lord, I need you to take care of the important matters, but I can handle the small stuff by myself. ”
- “I’ll make this decision by myself, Lord, because—to be honest–I’m not sure I’ll like your choice.”
- “I can decide by myself what will make me happy, Lord.”
Yep, I can be as foolish as a toddler, even though great wisdom is available to me.
Wisdom such as:
“Start with God.
The first step in learning
is bowing down to God.
Only fools thumb their noses
at such wisdom and learning”
(Proverbs 1:7, MSG).
Ouch. But Solomon is right. God made me; he knows the best course for me. Over and over again he has proven himself worthy of my trust — guiding my way, providing for my needs, empowering me to accomplish his plans.
If I can’t trust the One who died for me, who can I trust?
Any time I’m tempted to approach a situation or decision by myself, I need to remember:
“God always gives the best
to those who leave the choice to him”
–Selwyn Hughes
* * * * * * * * * *
Oh, Father, forgive me for the times I have foolishly asserted my independence. Help me to relinquish control to you. I’ve lived long enough to know from experience that living life by myself does not result in satisfaction. Help me become a person who turns to you first, and asks, “What do YOU want me to do, Lord?” because you are the all-wise One of the universe. And I know the benefits of following you will far outweigh any costs.
(Photo credits: www.motherhood.modernmom.com; http://www.childcare.oxfordcounty.ca; http://www.cleftstories.com; http://www.covedevotions2010.blogspot.com.)
From the Inside Out 
How very true and it seems to take us many years to learn to give it all to God and let Him handle it – the very best way. I am not real sure we ever do that completely, just when we think we have – we get in the way.
So true, Janet. Praise God he never gives up on us!
He is the vine and apart from Him we can’t do anything …. Oh, I wish I’d learn that lesson without failing on my own. I am grateful for His patience and mercies 🙂 … and for you reminding me today!
I’m sure he’s delighted with your progress, Heidi, as evidenced in your tender-hearted, insightful blog posts!
Nancy, I rejoice that you and I are sharing similar experiences and wish we could converse about them one on one. We don’t hear “all by myself”. Instead we hear “Rebekah do it. Rebekah drink from big girl glass.” Two weeks ago I shared the hand-washing experience that you described. What a joy to be a part of this fascinating growing stage. Yes, we as adult Christians experience many similar things as we go about our daily living. Thank you for such an interesting and important reminder. Love, Ruth
Thank you, Ruth. I didn’t mention it in the post, but Elena also flings her hands around when she wants to be rid of crumbs, sauce, sticky bits of food, etc. What a mess! Does Rebekah do that, too? Good thing they’re so cute!
perfect illustration and we can learn so much from observing those around us, even the young ones. Love that bible verse version and that quote. That’s a keeper. Have a blessed weekend, Nancy!
Thank you, Jean. Delighted you found the oat meaningful. I’ve been reading Selwyn Hughes (author of the quote) devotions for a couple of months now. He was a wise, insightful man!
Oh what a long way up those stairs!! Sometimes the roads we are to walk in our lives are like that. Oh so long and, yet, as you say, we try to walk them alone. How much easier to take the hand of God and let Him guide us. I love the pictures you include of the family, by the way.
Yes, just whispering the name of Jesus does wonders, to soothe the soul, refocus the attention, and strengthen the spirit. Thank you, Grace. I’ll try to incorporate more family photos!
Oh yes! I had my life all planned out ‘by myself’… It was to be a minister’s wife…like you. I had ten years of piano lessons, went to a Christian university, took Greek and extra Bible courses, even ‘church piano’! I was going for a teaching degree in Math, minoring in English and Religion. I was READY! BUT that was not God’s plan for me, even an honorable one such as mine. I don’t know why my heart’s desire never lined up with God’s plan for me. I only know that I am where I am supposed to be, living next to my elderly parents lending a hand as caregiver to my Dad and support for my Mom. And I believe that I am a good influence (and hopefully Godly influence) on my six greats (five great nieces and one great nephew, plus two ‘honorary’ nephews. I only know that our Heavenly ‘FATHER KNOWS BEST’! (Like the old TV show.)
And by the way, Bath and Body Works has those soap dispensers that automatically dispense soap when you put your hand under it. Maybe more manageable for a toddler than the pump kind. Disclaimer: Not intended as an advertisement. LOL!!!
I don’t know why your plan never unfolded either, Cheri. It was a good one!! But know this: your sweet, gentle spirit and your training HAVE been put to good use, just not in the way we thought. And God’s not finished yet! He still has more purposes to fulfill through you (Phil. 1:6)!
Nancy, I was thinking the same thing as I commented on you post. God has more plans for me in my future!