(Photo from http://www.trulia.com.)
“There it is, Mom, “ Steve remarked, as he pointed to a little white house in the middle of a city block. “That’s where we lived when I was growing up.”
“Oh, yes,” she replied. But did Mom really remember?
We were on an excursion through Columbus, Ohio, taking Steve’s mother past the landmarks of her life. Alzheimer’s disease had already stolen away much of her vibrancy and warmth, and, of course, her memory.
Steve drove by West High School and continued his commentary. “That’s where we all went to school, you, Dad, Karen, and me. You were the very first homecoming queen. How about that? No wonder Dad asked you out.”
She murmured assent to Steve’s comments, but added nothing of her own.
We drove past the brick ranch they built out in the country in 1966. Horses used to reside beyond the back fence. Just a few houses had dotted the area back then. By this time, however, they had been swallowed up by dozens more. The saplings Mom and Dad had planted were now tall shade trees. And the glorious flower beds and window boxes that Mom had tended were gone. She registered no recollection.
But when we approached her childhood home, a white Dutch Colonial on a quiet street, all of a sudden she perked up. Pointing to a second-story window, Mom stated firmly, “That was my room, right up there.”
In the midst of the fog that is Alzheimer’s, one memory–one glimmer of light–shone through that morning. Steve and I almost gasped at the wonder of the moment. Mom remembered!
And the rarity of her memories pointed to the preciousness of this ability. Memory is a gift to be treasured. The older I grow, the more I appreciate the miraculous power of the brain to store millions of memories—with astounding detail–and yet access a particular one in a mille-second.
Not only do sights trigger memories, but also smells. Researchers say this sense is the most powerful memory-inducer. For me, the aroma of fresh-baked bread always takes me back to my grandmother’s kitchen.
Sounds trigger memories as well—particularly music. Tastes and textures work the same phenomenon.
But surely God had more purpose in mind for giving us memory than the pleasant pastime of reminiscing.
Indeed.
Memories foster gratitude, as we contemplate God’s goodness to us in the past:
- His countless blessings (even when we haven’t been a blessing to him).
- Those times he led us through the shadow of death, so that we might experience more completely the glory of his light.
- Moments when we almost gave up hope, and God surprised us with his creative, abundant provision.
- Leaving behind what we once were and celebrating what we have become, solely because of his Son, Jesus.
Memories foster faith, as we remember how God has met our needs in the past. See if each phrase from Psalm 103 doesn’t trigger a memory in your mind, and a song of praise in your heart:
“Oh, my soul, bless God,
Don’t forget a single blessing!
He forgives your sins—every one.
He heals your diseases—every one.
He redeems you from hell—saves your life!
He crowns you with love and mercy—a paradise crown.
He wraps you in goodness—beauty eternal…
…God makes everything come out right.
He puts victims back on their feet…
…God is sheer mercy and grace;
Not easily angered, he’s rich in love.
He doesn’t treat us as our sins deserve,
Nor pay us back in full for our wrongs.
(Psalm 103:2-10, The Message)
Memories inform the present and provide hope for the future. As we meditate on all those times God has wrapped us in his goodness (v. 5), we are strengthened for what we face today. As we consider the many times he made everything come out right (v. 6), we can trust he will continue to make our paths straight.
Of course, there are some memories we would like to erase—those that generate sadness, hurt, or regret. How do we deal with those? Here are a few suggestions I’ve collected over the years:
- We must resist self-pity—even in our thought life. Nowhere in scripture do we read that rehashing the negative is therapeutic. God’s way is to focus on the positive (Philippians 4:8).
- We can follow Paul’s example. He forgot what was in his past and pressed on to what lay ahead (Philippians 3:13). Not that amnesia had set in. Paul simply did not allow past failures to cripple his relationship with God and his service for God. God had forgiven and forgotten; Paul did too. No doubt he applied Philippians 4:8, not only to self-pity, but also to guilt.
- We can leave the past in God’s hands. Oswald Chambers said it so well:
(“Leave the irreparable Past in His hands, and step out into the Irresistible Future with Him”
–My Utmost for His Highest, Dec. 31.)
* * * * * * * * * *
Father, I do thank you for the gift of memories—the ability to remember with joy and appreciation the people, places, and experiences of the past. I even thank you for the not-so-good memories, knowing that you use every difficult situation for the development of my maturity (James 1:2-3). And may I take advantage of the wisdom gained in the past to guide me in the present, and lead me into the Irresistible Future with you.
Art & Photo credits: www.trulia.com; http://www.westhighalumni.com; Steve’s photo collection; http://www.allrecipes.com; http://www.god.com; http://www.pinterest.com.
From the Inside Out 
… and may the memories that are not good, be submitted to the Lord, who can renew our hearts and minds in Christ 🙂 THANK YOU so much for this beautiful post, dearest Nancy.
Amen, Heidi. That’s another powerful strategy for dealing with painful memories!
Thank you, Nancy for that beautiful message. Memories do consist of good as well as bad and we grow through all of these experiences which create our memories.
Thank you, Ruth. I’m so glad you found the post meaningful. Praise God for his inspiration!
Reblogged this on A DEVOTED LIFE.
Thank you, JD. I’m honored and delighted you found the post meaningful. Praise God!
You are very welcome. I always find your posts meaningful and encouraging.
This is exactly where my dear mama is right now — childhood memories still accessible. Anything beyond that is lost in the ether. She has no memory of her marriage, of mothering her children. In fact, she thinks I am her mother most of the time. When our memory begins to disappear into the ether, we are reminded with some severity and sorrow of how great it is to have stories to tell, to own, to be grateful for! That’s one reason I write them down. Because I know that what has happened to my mom can very easily happen to me, too.
Alzheimer’s disease is a horrible thief, stealing away the loved ones we once knew and leaving only a shell. I pray for you Diana, as you travel this difficult road with your mother.
What a beautiful legacy you are providing for your children, grandchildren, and further descendants, recording the stories of your life for them. They will be treasured!
Reblogged this on judith99blog and commented:
I seldom reblog, but found this beautiful and encouraging.
Thank you, Judith. You’ve encouraged ME with the reblog!
So sad, Nancy. Excellent perspective though.
Thank you, Bill. I greatly appreciate when you can stop by, especially taking the time to comment. God bless you!
ALS is such a difficult disease for the patient and caregivers, but I think Alzheimers is even more difficult.
I don’t know about that, Bill. But with your humility and positive attitude, I’m not surprised you would have that viewpoint! Each disease certainly has its own extreme challenges.
Wise words, Nancy. Love that Philippians passage; I recite it before bed every night.
What a great way to prepare yourself for a peaceful night’s sleep!
What an awesome post! I can really relate to it. My mom is 96 and I enjoy finding ways to activate her memory. God is good. I am grateful for every memory she has retained. Blessings to you and your family.
Thank you Sheryl. What a wonderful blessing to enjoy your mom for so many years!
what a gift you gave her. Many people wouldn’t think of doing that drive. Memories add so much to life and I agree Alzheimers is such a cruel disease. Robs not only the one with the disease but also the whole family. good post, Nancy
I’m no expert on ministering to Alzheimer’s patients, but it seems to me we just have to give them the best moments in the present that we can, even if they can’t remember the experiences later. It is indeed a cruel disease. Thank you for your encouragement, Jean.
As a Caregiver Support Group Facilitator and former caregiver for my dear friend Pat who had dementia, I understand the preciousl moments of memories. Cherishing them is powerful. Steve’s Mom’s long term memory was still there, and it is wonderful that she got to see the house where she lived as a young girl. I tell the caregivers to cherish those memories when a Lucid moment happens.
I also, like what Oswald Chambers has to say. Thanks Nancy for this blog.
You’re welcome, Laura. What a ministry you’re providing, sharing your experience and knowledge with other caregivers. And knowing your calm and gentle spirit, the care you’re giving them is profound. God bless you, Laura, as you seek to bless others!
How wonderful is our God that when Alzheimer patients cannot recall recent events…HE gives them a glimpse into their (in many cases) unencumbered youth…a time of rediscovery of when they felt safe, cherished, and hopeful for the future. A place where confusion doesn’t reign supreme.
I never thought of it that way. God allows the best, sweetest memories to linger the longest. Praise God! What a precious gift!